Before Kids | After Kids

beforeafter

Life changes
after kids.
Seriously.

What You Say

What you do
Before Kids

What you do
After Kids

I am going to sleep in. You sleep in.  Until nine, ten even. It’s 6:00am.  I’m awake. The baby isn’t.  Should I check on the baby? Why isn’t she awake? Why am I awake? Hmmm… maybe I should get up and do some housework whilst everyone is sleeping. Go to sleep you silly woman. You. Have. The. Opportunity. To. Go. To. Sleep. Go to sleep. Go to sleep.  Go to sleep. Drifting asleep.  Baby cries.
Let’s go for a walk. You go for a walk. Get nappy bag. Restock nappies. Get water bottle for toddler. Get snacks for toddler.   Neglect to pack either for self.   Does everyone have hats? Should really apply sunscreen. Wrestle sunscreen onto toddler.  Get out pram. Get baby into pram.  Baby poos. Get baby out of pram and changed.  Get baby back into pram. Baby cries for most of walk.  Whose idea was this?
Let’s go to dinner. You go to dinner. Where should we go? Do they mind children? Will they mind our children? Pack nappy bag.  Pack baby food, bib, spoon, sippy cup, toys, colouring books. Can you ring and check they have a high chair? Arrive with pram.  There is no room for a pram.  Put pram back in car.  Put baby in high chair that may or may not have been cleaned in the past five years.   Baby demands to play with stainless steel fork.   Check kids menu.  $16 for fish and chips.  That seems reasonable (yeah right). Ask waitress if its possible to get vegetables or rice instead of chips.  Receive look as if have asked for lobster topped with caviar and anointed with truffle oil.  Look around restaurant to ascertain whether only family.  Oh no. We are. Behave. Behave. Behave.
I want a shower. You have a shower. Is the best time to have a shower? Baby seems happy.  Pre-schooler is playing quietly.  Bring baby into bathroom.  Baby please don’t play with the bin.  Baby please don’t play with the toilet paper. Baby please don’t play with the toilet.  Oh hello, pre-schooler, do come in. No, you can’t have a shower with me. Hey, don’t take my towel outside!
Let’s go to the beach You go to the beach. Pack sunshade, sunsafe swim wear, swim nappies, normal hat, swim hat, spray sunscreen, baby sunscreen,  adult sunscreen, sand toys, towels and book to read (huh), in addition to the over-stuffed nappy bag.  Somehow manage to carry all this to the beach whilst holding baby.  Attempt to set up sunshade whilst holding baby.  Sunshade requires engineering degree to work out. Finally wrestle it up.   Quickly take cute photo of self and baby to post on Facebook.  Look at what a lovely time we are having!   Spend entire time trying to stop baby eating sand.

what a lovely time we are having

My tongue is firmly in cheek.  Oh, I am being completely truthful, I just think the person who first said “if you don’t laugh, you’ll cry” had small children.    Whilst I wouldn’t have it any other way, it is very obvious is that time and spontaneity were abundant before children and scarce thereafter.   More on that as we explore our Inner Minx challenge this month.

What was your big after kids shock?

2 thoughts on “Before Kids | After Kids

  1. Sleep or lack of it. Thankfully my B’s are 6 & 4 and are great sleepers now, so for anyone who is in that non sleep cycle, as I was told many times, it gets better!!! Good luck and enjoy the ride.

    Liked by 1 person

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